Evan M. Garfinkel
October 24th, 1975- November 3rd, 2006
We're devastated and our heart's are broken but
You will forever be in our thoughts, minds and hearts, dear Evan.
We'll miss you forever !!!
Evan playing at "Tobacco Road" in Miami
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Joey's song to Evan
Music and lyrics by Joseph Basilone
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Evan and Joey
Evan and Bo Diddley
click on the picture to view "Sing, Sing, Sing" for one of Evan's favorite's...starring Gene Krupa.
Evan and Joey....best friends !!!
November 4th, 2006:
Upon learning, today, of Evan's passing I must say this is one of the saddest day's of my entire life. Evan was like another son to me and I am truly griefstricken.
He and Joey were best friends.....Evan was Joey's best man just three years ago. Joey has suffered an immeasurable loss today and my grief extends to the pain that he is now in.
Evan brought so much to all of us with his humor and kindness.
He was brilliant and talented, funnier than anyone, had a heart of gold and was loved very much by our family. He was part of our family.
This world has become dimmer now without him.
Rest now, Evan......you're finally at peace.
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This page created on 11/04/06 in lasting memory of Evan Garfinkel.
He will always be loved and he will always be missed !!!
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If you would like your tribute to Evan posted here, for all that loved him to read, please email it to me at LucieLady@aol.com and I will post it below.
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?The Suicide Survivor’s Affirmation
by Jeffrey Jackson
Someone I loved very much has ended their own life. I will never truly know
all that was happening in their mind that brought them to that tragic choice.
However, there are things of which I can be reasonably certain...
— If they were here, even they could not fully explain their mindset or
answer all of my questions.
— In their state of mind, they could not have fully comprehended the
reality of their own death.
— They could not have fully appreciated the devastating
impact their suicide would have on the people in their life.
As such, by their last act, they made their most tragic mistake, unknowingly
creating unparalleled pain in the hearts of those whom they most loved.
The person I lost is beyond my help now in every way but one:
I can help them by working to ease the pain they have caused
and by not allowing their most enduring legacy to be one of
tragedy. They benefit from this help whether or not I perceive them as
welcoming it, in the same way that we help the aggressor whenever we nurse
his victim—by minimizing the damage he has caused.
As a result, each and every day, I can help the person I lost by...
...enjoying life.
...smiling and laughing.
...not dwelling in feelings of sadness or remorse.
...loving others.
...taking new steps in life toward positive new horizons.
...helping those who feel their loss to do the same.
...and, in short, not letting their mistake continue to create
sorrow, neither in the world around me, nor in myself.
I will try to picture my lost loved one asking me to do this every day—to
please help undo the damage they caused in whatever little ways possible.
And I promise that I will.
Tributes from those who loved Evan
A Tribute To Evan
Although we never met Evan we feel as if we knew him. We heard many wonderful things about him from our dear friend, Pam. Rest in peace Evan.
Sincerely,
Joanie and Hy
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Thank you for posting about Evan. Ever since I heard I've been search for pictures and stories of him so that I will never forget, but then how can you forget a person like Evan...you can't. He was such an amazing, wonderful sweet man. I still can hear him, laughing at me when he came to chat with me at my work, and his smile, I miss him so much, he was such a God send to have around if you were blue, or happy he just made life better...I miss ya Evan, so much.
Posted by: Karrie Williams | November 14, 2006 at 20:25
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Hi. I knew Evan here in Las Vegas, and I actually saw him, I think, only a day or two before it happened. I hadn't seen him around recently before that, but he seemed completely fine.
I didn't know him really well, but we hung out a bit -- we always shot the shit together at the coffeeshop and the bar, and he and I and my roommate went to see the comedian Doug Stanhope perform once. I was actually looking for him, when I found out he'd died, to ask him to play drums in my band.
He did have friends here, and we miss him too. The night we found out, a couple of us went to our local bar and had a drink in his memory.
I'm sorry that we couldn't have done more, but he'd pulled away from everybody he knew locally, and none of us knew how bad it was for him. Please believe that, if we had, we'd have helped him.
My condolences,
Josh Ellis
Posted by: Josh Ellis | November 15, 2006 at 10:56
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It's wonderful to read such nice remembrances of Evan. I am relieved to find this page of posts and know that I am not alone in my grief. I just learned of Evan's suicide last night. I haven't spoken to him since I called him seven years ago. I'm so glad to know that he continued to make the impressions he did and touch people with his friendship, loyalty, and laughter as he did when I knew him. When I knew him he was sensitive and hilarious.
Favorite memories of mine include Evan introducing me to mind-numbing atonal music on a four-hour ride back from Little Havana to see his beloved friend Robert LeCusay drum, Evan doing Pee-Wee imitations, we-have-to-get-there-before-it-closes late night trips to Video Renaissance, early afternoon-we-have-to-get-ther-before-it-closes-trips to First Watch, and all other kinds of we-have-to-get-there trips for special meals. Yoshi's, the cheap korean place in Bradenton, super-greasy Crogers. Evan driving down from New Jersey and Evan's mom introducing me to the culinary delights of New Jersey strawberries and sesame noodles, listening to Evan talk about his admiration and love for New College friends who had since moved on, and Evan's elatedness when the first projector was purchased with SAC money meaning that movies would now (finally!) be able to be shown on the wall in Palm Court.
Josh, to your post above, I have to add that your sentiments, I'm sure, are appreciated. I am sure there is nothing to be sorry for, there is nothing you could have done. There was nothing Evan would have permitted anyone to do. I'm sure he would want to remembered, though, with the true affection and love people felt for him which I know he sincerely felt himself.
Evan, (if you are here which you are not, I remember you an absolute atheist!) you were loved. Thank you for the gifts you gave in your lifetime.
Condolences to all who grieve,
Jessica Fenster-Sparber
p.s. was there a Shiva sit for Evan?
Posted by: Jessica | November 16, 2006 at 19:44
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I found this out from Erin M. on Myspace. Evan had about the quickest wit I had ever seen before or since - he always struck me as a furious bundle of energy. It's hard to imagine what kind of circumstances, internal or external, could have led him to this.
My favorite memory of him is his Anti-Wall. Full of dissonant music, probably some John Cage, probably some John Zorn, and full of people doing interpretive dance to the sound of grating violins. He didn't just "play some funk" and offer up something easy to dance to, he challenged us and had some fun doing it. It's hard to believe his energy and genius are gone . . .
Posted by: Joe Bauder | November 19, 2006 at 01:18
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1/17/07
Dear Pam,
Thank you for your message, which I have forwarded on to Bo Diddley.
I know that he was a great supporter and fan of the band during their
formative years in Gainesville. It is very fitting therefore, that you have
placed a photo of Evan and Bo Diddley together in the studio on Evan's
memorial page on your website.
Please convey my sincere condolences to Evan's family and friends.
David Blakey, Webmaster,
BO DIDDLEY-The Originator
http://members.tripod.com/~Originator_2/index.html
A Celebration of his unique contribution to Popular Music.
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Updated: 1/17/07 c. 2006-2010 all rights reserved
